padayatra is not just a walk

      It was Dec 31st 2019, when I was going over my last years goals and finding out what got achieved and what not. As I started dotting for 2020, the thought of going for padayatra crossed my mind. I knew during Mahashivratri, Isha meditators go for padayatra from their respective places to Velliangiri. I wanted to do this, a padayatra from Bangalore to Velliangiri temple in Coimbatore. The only issue is the number of days I had to take leave. Couple of weeks later, the dates got announced, its from 7th Feb to 19th Feb. Excluding weekends, I had to take 10 days off. I applied, and my boss immediately approved it. Never I thought this will end up as the most wonderful time of my life, and I will never forget my boss for this.

   Before the trip, I talked to our guruji, Vinayak Moorthy anna, who will be leading us during the padayatra. 2 things he said: "Anna, make sure you do not use your mobile during the trip. Even to your family, just message them where you are, its enough. You are with so many people, they will not worry. If you want to use mobile during yatra, its better you stay back, no point in doing this. You will not get an opportunity like this again. Second, keep in mind,while walking , the only thing you will do is to chant "Om Nama Shivaya", and nothing else".  Never I thought this conversation would be the stepping stone for a beautiful trip to happen, and I bow down to Vinayak anna for making it happen.

    Its 7th Feb. I switched off my data and left.  From Jayanagar, 20 of us had our irumudi's tied, and started off the yatra in the evening around 8PM and reached our first destination.

   Generally, our walking times are in 2 sessions. Morning session from around 5:30AM to 12 noon, and the evening session from around 4PM to 9PM, covering around 30 kms per day. Our stay and accomodation for the next 13 days till we reach Isha Yoga center is taken care by the Isha Volunteers from the nearby places.  In the afternoon, the volunteers bring us lunch to a predefined place on the way. And during the night, the volunteers arrange for a place to stay and take care of our dinner as well.

     I got my first surprise on reaching our first destination. The Isha volunteers who were waiting for our arrival, did padapoooja to each and every one of us.  During padapooja, they will put water and wash your feet, put chandan and apply kumkum and do an aarti. I never had  anything like this before. It was very uncomfortable to see someone washing your feet and do all this. After all, I am just an ordinary person sucked in this materialistic world running behind money, and here somebody washing our feet as if we are some god. I started trembling and getting little emotional. And this happened almost every evening when we reached an Isha volunteer place.

    Isha volunteers are one which I would never be able to decode in my lifetime. The volunteers either prepare food by themselves or arrange it from outside paying from their own pockets. And they themselves will come and serve the food, and only after we all had taken food, they will have their food. In one such instance, we had dinner only after midnight at around 00:30 hours, volunteers had at around 1AM. The love and grace with which the entire thing is handled, I wondered do I deserve all these? For these volunteers, it is as if 20 Sadhguru's had come to their homes. How would you treat if your god comes home? This is the same way they treated 20 of us with care and devotion.

   Sometimes I wonder why do they do all these?  It is just that one word "Sadhguru", the feeling that taking care of these Shivas is taking care of Sadhguru himself. This world of Sadhguru's Isha is just a beautiful one, the more you be in it, the more you dont want to come out of it. The entire arrangement of padayatra created by Sadhguru is such that you just need to walk and be in your zone, rest everything is taken care of.

    During a lunch at one of our volunteers house, it so happened that rice got over after first serving. And 30 of us are having lunch. Volunteer anna told us to just wait for another 5 mins and it will be ready and he kept us engaged to make sure nobody got up. The rice got ready in another 10 mins and everybody had their stomachs full. The same scenario in another place would have become a little unpleasant, but not here.  I felt this Anna had so much of Sadhguru's grace, everything went so smoothly. It was like all the Sadhguru videos we had watched, we are getting live demo's for the same.

  Before the padayatra, I felt I should not have any issues with the walk because I maintain a decent level of fitness. To my surprise, I was horribly wrong. The only difference is if others had felt pain from Day 2, i felt from Day 3. Period. From Day 3 is when the actual fight with pain starts and the level varies from person to person. You get boils on legs, and the boil broadens, then breaks and the process repeats til the end. Luckily, I came out of this easily.  Vinayak anna had told us, "enjoy the pain the same way we enjoy a desert after a meal". The more attention you give to pain, the more it starts paining. Just give a damn to it. Another thing that helped me is the Osho book on Krishna I was reading before the yatra. Osho contantly tells pleasure and sadness are two ends of a pole. You dont long for only one, accept both of them gracefully. With this thought process and the continuous chant of 'Om Nama Shivaya', trust me, the pain never ever troubled. I became one with the pain.

   As we keep walking everyday, people on the road will stare at us. Some ask about our whereabouts, some just look at you, some give a smile, some will do a pranam to us, some prostrate on the road itself. We give vibhuti prasad to them, some accepts, some does not. When first time some one came and prostrated at me, I did not know what to do, how to react. Again that uncomfortable feeling. All I did was to close my eyes and tell 'Om Nama Shivaya'. In one instance, a person in a 2 wheeler stopped next to me and enquired about our yatra. At the end, when I offered him vibhuti, he got down from the vehicle and prostrated on the road itself, and that is when I realized his left hand was amputated. What do I do with these people? Why do they do this and make us uncomfortable and emotional? I want to tell him I am not qualified for any of these things. 

    Over the time, I realized for people in Tamil Nadu villages, once you start padayatra, for them, you are Shiva, nothing else. So, people look at us as Shiva, when they prostrate, I just tell myself this is to Shiva and I am just a medium here and offer it to the Lord himself. It was a different life. No talks, only chant, chant and chant, people come to you,give vibhuti, people prostrate, stop by and offer it to Shiva, give vibhuti, move on. The chant and the disconnect with the day to day affairs has taken the body to a different level. And you become more softer, more receptive to what is happening around. And yes, you feel you are a limb of Shiva. All these things made me to promise to myself to be a better human being that what I am today. 

  From Hosur, starts the most beautiful part of the journey  where the walk is through the villages. Trees on either sides, lush green fields, not many vehicles plying on the roads, sunrise and sunset which we get to see everyday, cows, buffaloes, hens, on either sides at almost every home, its a nature lover's paradise.  This will continue for 7 to 8 days till we reach Bhavani.

   After the first 3 days, I opted for Silence. Once you opt for this, you are not supposed to talk to anyone, just be in silence. In case of real need, we can use sign language. During walk, people on roads used to ask us about our whereabouts. So, I used to wear a Silence tag around the neck, and I had our source and destination written in Tamil so that I need not talk to them. Opting for silence ended up deepening my experience.

   I think it was on Day 4 when we were going to Palacode. As I was walking with my chant on, there was a dog sitting on the other side of the road. It started coming near me, I did not bother, and it started walking alongside me. After a few steps, it hit my leg with its body, kind of nodding me to look at something. There was a small shop nearby. I bought a couple of biscuit packets. I continued walking, and started giving biscuits to the dog one after the other. It kept on eating. When both the packets got over, I showed the empty packets to it and told him its over. It turned and went back.  As it went back, was trying to ponder over what exactly happened in the last few minutes. Perhaps, he was my friend in my last birth and felt happy seeing me.

   It was an evening walk from Ammapet to Bhavani. Around 6 to 7 of us reached early and were waiting at a point just before the destination for others to arrive. The place was covered with shamiyana, most likely used for some car sales display during the day. A person in a TVS-50 stopped by, parked his vehicle and came to us. He asked, "Saamigala, where are you people going?". One of our Shivas told him that we are from Bangalore and doing padayatra to Velliangiri. The person was happy to hear this and he wanted to offer something to us. He asked , "Saamigala, shall I buy water bottles for 50 rupees for you people"? One of the shivas thanked him and said we have enough water.  "Then, shall I buy Brittania biscuits for 50 rupees?" he asked very innocently. Other Shiva told him that we are going to have our dinner in sometime now and its fine. "Why you people are so good? You are not taking anything at all from me" told that person. To this, another shiva suggested him to offer that money in our biksha hundi. The person happily offered it to the hundi. And he prostrated at us on the road  and went back to his vehicle.  As he was about to start, he put the side stand and came to us again.  He started in a low tone: "Saamigala,, veetla pasanga velai illama irukkanga, neenga konjom aasirvaadham pannunga saamigala (Swamijis, my sons at home does not have a job, please bless them)", he said and left. There was pin drop silence.

I am not Sadhguru, I am not Shiva. What can I do for him?  He believed we can do something to him, he felt we are all closer to god, perhaps god might listen to our prayers more than his. I dont know whether he has money for his next meal, but he offered that 50 rupees with a hope. All I can do is to plead to Shiva for him which I did. During the entire conversation he had with us, his body language never gave a hint of such sadness back at home. With his family in such an issue, the man was able to conduct himself so well. I am again teary eyed as I am typing all this. I hope something  better would have happened to him. And yes, he did give me a message that worries apart, you can still enjoy your life and be yourself.

  It was Day 10, the day which would end up as a turning point in my life. We were going from Perundurai to Chengapalli, towards Avinashi.  90% of the walk was on the National Highway. And we were close to 40 of us, scattered across. As I was walking with the 'Om Nama Shivaya' chant on, suddenly an Innova came and stopped right next to me. The driver asked us: "Aap log kahan ja rahe ho (Where are you people going?)". Since I was in silence and could not talk, I flashed my tag which had our source and destination written in Tamil. The driver doing pranam, said "Om Nama Shivay". His expressions told me he had no idea what was written on it. I wish I had an English version in the backside. He simply did not look like a driver, he had some aura around him. As I was about to take leave, the driver pulled out a 500 rupee note from his pocket and offered it to me. I was taken aback for a moment. I took out my Biksha hundi from my bag and asked him to drop it in it. On seeing the driver offering,  the people travelling in the car also offered a biksha to my hundi, and I gave vibhuti prasad to everybody, and then I moved on. The car left.

   I continued walking. After a minute, I was slowly trying to recollect whatever happened. Why should someone offer to a stranger, an absolute stranger, not 10,50 or 100, its 500 rupees? He had no idea who I am, where am I from, where I am going to.  He knows nothing about me. All he knew was I was chanting "OmNama Shivay". Had I been in his position, forget offering even 100, I may not even have stopped the car. Who is this person? What message did he try to give me? Suddenly I had a tear in my eye. It was a day when we were walking most of the time in service roads, and in the absence of it in the main road. At that moment, had I been walking on the service road, I would not have crossed that car. This entire thing would not have happened. But at that exact time, I was on the highway. Many times when people want to enquire, they prefer asking someone when they are alone. On that day, at that time, had I been walking with one more Shiva, the car may not have stopped at me.  Nothing would have happened. My tears increased. I  started feeling there is a specific message in this for me. The entire event was running in my mind over and over. From tears, I started crying. And the crying went on and on as I kept on walking on the highway. From Bangalore sitting inside a posh company, here I am, wandering on a highway, crying like a child and dont know why.  The elusive question remained, "Who is he? Why did he give me 500?" Its burning and blasting inside my head.

      When we stopped for lunch in the afternoon, I had food and slept off. When we started our evening padayatra, the morning events started running over in my mind again and the same thing continued. As were about to reach the destination of that day, I got a little composed, and felt comfortable. I started feeling as if lots of questions in my mind are answered. Things which were running in my mind for months which were totally unconnected to the morning event seems solved. Things around me were feeling more pleasant. These experience made me more softer.

   I did not come to padayatra because walking to a temple is sacred and it gives punya karma. Something inside me kept telling that a padayatra is the one where I will get a lot of time for being alone will give me the much needed clarity for which I was struggling. And yes, this padayatra gave me exactly that. 

   And remaining in silence, I got to know so much about me without talking a word. With Silence, I was in a period of 10 days where I can only listen without passing an opinion. It was very tough to keep quiet. Whenever I found something wrong happening, I wanted to convey it, being in silence prevented me. Again, this told me a lot about myself. The silence and varied people experiences during the yatra slowly started answering my ever burning question of "Who am I?".

   When I look back at the yatra, I feel how beautifully Sadhguru has designed the whole thing.  You dont worry about food, you dont worry about shelter, just be with the process and experience the beauty of life. Sometimes I feel all these life enhancing experiences which were happening during the yatra might also be happening with us all the time. Perhaps, its just that I was not in a position to receive failed me from realizing whats happening around me. It could be someone could have genuinely come to help me, I might have ridiculed it. The silence, chant and outer world disconnect has taken the body and mind to a state where I started experiencing every tiny bit around me. 

  Padayatra is not just a walk, its a journey where your life will come infront of you. The nature and the  people show you who you are,  its less physical and full of emotions. I felt its part-2 of Bhava Spandana.  This yatra changed the entire perception of life. I am indebted to my guru, Sadhguru, for my entire life.

    

  Once when I was watching a Sadhguru video, he said "you should not think I am following Sadhguru's advice, I am doing this of Sadhguru, that of Sadhguru, but he has not even seen me, will I ever get his blessings or grace? " Sadhguru said, "you keep doing whatever you are doing. When the time is right, you will be attended to. Dont worry about that".  I believed in this very strongly. And yes, during the padayatra, my time came, and my Sadhguru did attend to me. My life changed.